


Helping Hand

by Elliot-the-Wizard (PhantomWizard13)



Series: Here's to Everyone (Who Said We Never Had a Chance) [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Jace is an asshole but he really didn't know, Jace isn't all bad, M/M, Mentions of past child abuse, Panic Attacks, Raphael and Magnus friendship!!!, Raphael is awesome, The Pool Incident, Warning: panic attacks, in this his birth last name is herondale but he's basically a lightwood, pre-relationship malec, same with clary and izzy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 14:53:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8060785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomWizard13/pseuds/Elliot-the-Wizard
Summary: “Herondale decided it would be hilarious if he pushed me into the pool.”
   Of course, Jace couldn’t have known that Magnus would run behind a building to nearly have a panic attack, but that didn’t make the whole experience any less unpleasant. He hadn’t meant to be malicious (just humiliating, Magnus thought bitterly), but Magnus couldn’t even bother to stay any longer after that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING: PANIC ATTACK
> 
> Oh look my first work with no shitty song lyric title ahahahaha kill me

**MAGNUS POV**

 

Magnus did _not_ want to be here.

It was a pool party, and quite frankly, he hated pools. Parties were all very well and good, but pools? Ugh. It only brought to mind bad memories.

But he was here for Raphael. Raphael had asked him to come- apparently he had a grand plan for finally asking out Ragnor. And that, Magnus was definitely ready for. The two deserved it.

So, here he was, standing too close for his comfort to a pool, dressed in never-before-used swim trunks and a tank top that said _Say hi if you’re bi!_ and quietly drinking his cocktail. He took small, cautious sips. It would simply not due to get tipsy here, now.

Magnus sighed, setting his almost empty glass down on a table.

He went to turn and find Raphael, or Simon, or someone he knew- when he heard laughter, whooping. It was from a group in the corner- he recognized several of them. Isabelle Lightwood and a redhead (Clarissa something, he was sure of it) were laughing and looking right in his direction (probably someone behind him about to jump in the pool or something) and a few others gathered around them, also watching and giggling. Their older brother had his back turned, talking to someone- Simon, actually! They had turned towards the bar, evidently for some drinks. Magnus was about to step forwards to head in their direction when strong arms suddenly quite literally swept him off his feet- but he wasn’t swooning. He could hear them whooping still- it was a harmless prank. He’d seen it done before. Dunking was a common practice at pool parties in towns.

“Let _go_ of me-” he shouted, but then he- Jace, Isabelle’s brother, he could see now- headed towards the pool and flung him in.

There was a long, terrifying moment where it felt like he was suspended above the water- like he was back _there_ again, his stepfather’s fingers around his neck and the hatred and grief in his eyes, the water lingering below him until-

Magnus plunged below the surface of the water to the faint sounds of the crowd cheering.

Everything was a confusing mix of memories and reality.

His stepfather’s hands, rough and angry, holding him under-

Bubbles, the faint, muted sounds of shouting-

His ribcage bursting with guilt and anger and sorrow and the need to _breathe-_

Screaming, bubbles bursting out of his mouth, water burning his eyes-

Magnus broke the surface, gasping for air and trembling. He pulled himself out of the water. His limbs felt heavy, and he was shaking like a leaf.

Most of the crowd’s attention was gone from him, although he heard the tail end of a few of the comments _(“-can’t take a joke” “-looks like a drenched cat”_ ), except for the one who had thrown him in- Jace- was staring, wide-eyed.

Magnus mustered a glare at him, then fled, sopping wet and still shaking. It was getting harder to breathe.

He collapsed against the outside wall, around the corner where no one would see him.

He fought for breath, the memories threatening to overwhelm him again.

He was crying, wasn’t he? He couldn’t tell, he felt like he was still drowning- he tried to cry out, to say anything, but the words choked in his throat like he was trying to swallow knives or sharp rocks.

He choked out a sob.

The water clinging to his skin, making his clothes heavy and his skin clammier-

The sightless, dead eyes of his stepfather-

The sharp, icy air he tried to breathe but couldn’t-

The guilt, he didn’t mean to, _he didn’t mean to-_

A voice cut through the memories like a knife through warm butter.

“Magnus. Magnus- can you hear me? Magnus!”

Magnus pried open his eyes- when had he closed them? –and a concerned face swam into view.

Raphael was right in front of him, hands on his shoulders, eyes desperate. “ _Dios,_ Magnus-” he breathed when Magnus finally met his gaze, eyes wide and uncertain.

“Breathe with me,” Raphael instructed. “One, two, three- got it? One, two, three-”

Magnus followed the best he could, slowly calming down, still shivering.

After several minutes, Magnus was mostly breathing normally.

“ _Dios_ ,” Raphael repeated, unable to hide the worry in his voice.

“I-I’m sorry,” Magnus croaked, annoyed at how raspy he sounded. “I- Where’s Ragnor? What about your plan?”

Raphael laughed disbelievingly. “I-I’ll ask him another time, _que maravillosa tonto._ You- as much as it kills me to say- are important to me.”

Magnus looked away. “Thank you,” he said quietly, unable to put into words what he was feeling. Gratefulness, shame, sorrow, and happiness, all mixed up and blended together.

“C’mon,” Raphael said, voice uncharacteristically soft. “We should get you dried off and home.”

Magnus blinked. “No- I can do that. You need to go woo Ragnor!”

Raphael shook his head. “ _Dios_ , do you really think I’d let you go home alone- like this? No. Ragnor will understand. Besides… You’re the reason I-” he faltered, unsure if he should continue, but plowed on before he could change his mind, “You’re the reason I have the courage to ask him in the first place,” he said. “And- I can always ask him another time. Now, I’m going to get you a towel, and we are going to your apartment to watch _Mean Girls._ Okay?”

There was a long silence, then Magnus gave a weak chuckle. “I knew you liked _Mean Girls,”_ he said.

Raphael rolled his eyes fondly. “C’mon,” he repeated, helping him to his feet. “Let’s go.”

 

**JACE POV**

Jace was having a damn good time.

Pool parties were always fun.

“Hey, Alec, do you mind getting some drinks?” Izzy asked. She was a bit tipsy- and she was a bit tipsy, she was a _lot_ giggly. And cuddly. She tended to cling.

Thankfully, her current target was Clary, whom was also tipsy. She had the same tendency to cuddle and giggle when she was drunk. (Simon was the mopey drunk of the group, Jace was the wild one, and no one knew what drunk Alec would look like- probably a monster.)

Luckily, she wasn’t extremely drunk, either.

Jace himself was feeling a bit tipsy. Hmm.

Alec didn’t even look up. “You’ve all had enough.”

“I actually haven’t had anything to drink yet,” Simon said.

“How are _you_ the responsible one?” Jace asked.

“He’s not,” Clary giggled. “Alec is. He’s getting us drinks. But _shhh,_ they’re supposed to be non-alcholic. _Don’t tell him about the little bottle of vodka stuff I brought with me.”_

Alec sighed heavily, moving to confiscate the vodka. Clary pouted.

“I’ll take a Dr. Pepper,” Izzy offered.

Simon grinned. “I’d second that.”

Clary considered. “Yeah,” she said finally. “Sure, why not. But I want _cherry_ Dr. Pepper.”

Jace laughed. “Coke for me, please. Thanks, Alec!”

Alec rolled his eyes, but he was grinning, too.

“Are you gonna need some help carrying all that?” Simon asked.

Alec shrugged. “Sure,” he said.

Jace was pretty sure their conversation continued after that, but he lost focus.

“Hey, Jace-” Izzy giggled. “You know that dunking thing? The tradition?”

“Yeah,” Jace said. He’d been dunked before. Even Alec had dunked. He’d even dunked Clary once. It was all in good fun, really.

“We- we should do it to him,” Izzy hiccupped, pointing towards somebody. Jace looked up. Magnus Bane was standing near the water, looking rather irritated. “I mean, it’s harmless, right? And it’d be- _hilarious.”_

“I dunno,” Clary said, slurring slightly. “That might not be a good idea. I mean, what if-” she snorted, breaking into giggles, “-what if Jace can’t lift him?”

Jace perked up, offended. “Can’t lift?” he gasped, mock-affronted. “Why, you traitor- Are you saying I’m not strong?”

Clary laughed. “I don’t know, are you going to prove me wrong?”

Jace straightened. “You know what?” he declared. “I am!”

He didn’t see the triumphant looks exchanged between the two as he marched away, making sure to go the long way round so as to surprise him.

He snuck up behind him, waiting until he set down his glass, then grinned and swept him up, ignoring his indignant shout of “Let _go_ of me-” and swinging him into the water.

He flew in, plunging into the water, but something threw Jace off- Magnus’s expression, a second before he hit the water: it wasn’t annoyed or shocked or angry, it was… _terrified._ Then, when he went under, he was thrashing, it looked almost like he was _screaming-_ and when he finally clawed his way to the poolside, out of the water, he was shaking like a leaf. He’d given Jace a weak glare- like a drenched, scared cat- and fled, breathing uneven.

Jace almost went after him, but he figured it would do more harm than good.

Who- who was he friends with again?

Something beginning with R...

He walked back over to his friends in a daze.

“What’s wrong?” Clary asked.

“Did you see that?” cackled Izzy. She looked rather unfocused. She’d gotten another drink from somewhere.

“It’s nothing,” Jace replied to Clary.

 _Something beginning with_ _R._

Raphael Santiago rounded the corner, looking determined, like he was preparing himself for something.

Raphael. _Raphael._ That was it, right?

He hurried over to him, ignoring Simon (“Where are you going, we _just_ got your drinks-?”) and said, “Raphael, right?”

Raphael gave him an irritated sneer. “Fuck off, Herondale,” he said.

“You’re Magnus Bane’s friend, right?” Jace asked.

Raphael stiffened. “Yes. Why?”

“He ran behind that building over there-” Jace said, pointing. “He looked… in trouble.”

“That’s _very vague,_ Jason!”

“It’s Jace,” Jace corrected, mildly irritated, and then added, “He got dunked. In the pool.”

“He got _what?”_ Raphael asked, eyes wide, sounding horrified. It was more emotion then Jace had ever seen on his face. “ _Dios,_ no,” he cursed, then ran towards where Magnus had gone.

Jace had a lingering feeling he’d done something horrible.

He went back to his friends feeling vaguely sick.

 

**MAGNUS POV sort of – THE NEXT DAY**

There was a note slipped in his bag the next day.

_Sorry I dunked you in the pool._

_-J_

There was a surprisingly well-chosen tube of lipstick taped to it- perfect for Magnus’s skin tone and fashion choices, rather expensive and stylish.

It was actually rather thoughtful, all things considered.

The two of them would likely never be friends, and neither of them particularly liked the other more than they did before the incident, but it was a good apology.

And if Magnus wore the lipstick the next day, no one could judge him, because it was damn good lipstick.

And if Jace saw the lipstick and felt a little relieved, no one could judge him either.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a headcanon that Jace is just really good at makeup/fashion  
> Like it's not his passion but he can def hold his own  
> He claims he'd make a great drag queen, and tbh he's probably not wrong


End file.
